West Lothian Council has a policy ‘Promoting Positive Relationships’ which covers bullying in schools at section 3. All schools should be able to show you their anti-bullying policy and explain how they make it work.

If a child has a good understanding of social skills, that will help them to make friends and deal with teasing. These webpages from Autism Teaching Strategies on interaction and communication have lots of resources.

Autism and bullying – the National Autistic Society has a guide for parents.

Young Minds has a young person’s  guide about bullying, and an autistic young person’s story of how they overcame bullying. The BBC also has young people’s resources on this page about bullying and online/social media bullying.

Bullying Resources PDFs – ‘Promoting Positive Relationships’, Contact ‘Dealing with Bullying‘, Enquire ‘Talking to your School about Bullying’ and ‘Not Happy with School’s Response to Bullying’ can all be downloaded in the links at the bottom of the page.

Living Life to the Full has online courses for children and adults about dental anxiety and useful worksheets.

West Lothian has a special clinic for under-16s with additional support needs which can be accessed by asking a social or healthcare professional (e.g. your own dentist) to make a referral – see guidelines. For over 16s, the Adult Special Care Dentistry service is appropriate.

The British Society of Paediatric Dentistry has a booklet of advice for parents of children with autism.

Autism Scotland has a PDF guide for parents and carers for visiting the dentist, as well as a page of advice – scottishautism.org/visiting-dentist

If your child’s behaviour is becoming increasingly violent towards others, this Action for Children article may help. Action for Children also have live chat and call-backs where you can discuss your situation 1:1. If your child is self-harming, see our information here ( further down the page, under self-harm)

West Lothian Domestic and Sexual Assault Team (DASAT) offers confidential and friendly support to people who have experienced abuse. They provide tailored support for adults and children survivors of domestic abuse and sexual assault. Specialist support is also available for people with mental health difficulties and/or substance misuse issues.

Office hours are 9-5, Monday to Friday, email dasat@westlothian.gov.uk, phone 01506 281055.

West Lothian Women’s Aid also has a website, call 01506 413 721 Mon-Friday 9-4pm.

Outwith these hours if you need urgent advice please call the Scottish Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage helpline on 08000 271 234.

If someone in your family is misusing drugs or alcohol, you can contact West Lothian Drug and Alcohol Service (WLDAS) for advice. Their young people’s service provides a range of support.

2021 Scottish Government guidance for schools about how to respect the rights of transgender pupils is here.

This resource covers grief and bereavement at different ages/stages (remember that your child may be developmentally ‘younger’ than their actual age): Your child’s school should also be able to assist. westlothian.gov.uk/Insight-Developmental-Stage-Understanding.pdf

Supporting grief and bereavement in children:

westlothian.gov.uk/Insight-Supporting-Grief-in-Children.pdf

Books about grief and bereavement:

Books beyond words – suitable for adults and children, a story told in pictures with tips about how to use it to discuss bereavement and grief booksbeyondwords.co.uk/when-somebody-dies

Child Bereavement Trust has an online bookshop with helpful leaflets and books

Finding your own way to Grieve workbook – for children with autism, but works for anyone amazon.co.uk/Finding-Your-Own-Way-Grieve/

When Someone Very Special Dies workbook  – a favourite of Signpost parents amazon.co.uk/WHEN-SOMEONE-VERY-SPECIAL-DIES

NHS Lothian has learning disability hospital liaison nurses who can support young adults with hospital visits and treatments.

Children’s Health Scotland has a parent pack, and various guides such as ‘Coping with Needles’ which can help you prepare your child for a hospital visit. In some cases, play therapists can help children get used to the sights and sounds by arranging visits before treatment. You can contact Children’s Health Scotland with any questions.

A side effect of Covid has been an increased fear of germs for some of our young people, or a tendency to get stuck in cleaning rituals or other compulsive behaviour. This can occur in young people with autism too, who may have less flexible thoughts or more rigid beliefs which make it more difficult to stop these behaviours.

Video introduction ocduk.org/features/an-introduction-to-ocd-in-children/ (warning – not for under-12s)

Information about helping your child can be found here: childmind.org/article/kids-and-ocd-the-parents-role-in-treatment/

and here: anxietyuk.org.uk/Helpling-your-child-with-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder.pdf (booklet)

A guide for young people: youngminds.org.uk/young-person/mental-health-conditions/ocd/#Thingsthatcanreallyhelp

Useful books on puberty for younger children include  Let’s Talk About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Family and Friends and What’s Happening to Tom? and What’s Happening to Ellie?

For older teens, simple, visual guides on body changes and keeping clean, shaving, periods and more can be obtained from FAiR for £1 each: FAiR Limited 95 Causewayside Edinburgh EH9 1QG, Tel: 0131 662 1962, email: multimedia@fairadvice.org.uk

For trickier topics for children with autism, such as teaching about masturbation in private, or how to use public toilets safely, Kate E Reynolds has also created Things Tom Likes, and Things Ellie Likes (warning, explicit drawings) and Tom Needs to Go and Ellie Needs to Go.

A small group of teaching staff at North Lanarkshire Council have created a blog to support communication friendly environments: glowscotland.org.uk/

They have created many resources using Boardmaker to teach and support communication for children and young people with additional support needs and one of the topics covered is Puberty: examples of how to discuss puberty for males can be found here and the visual tools for females can be found here.

Relationships and internet safety are discussed at ThinkUKnow with information for all ages.  Contact also has a useful overview.

Dates-n-Mates is a service which helps disabled adults find new friends and relationships. It has social events, workshops, a podcast, and can facilitate individuals to socialise more widely. For more information, call 0141 427 2957 or see their website.

We cover respite on our main family support page.

See our Education page and this article from Action for Children’s ‘Behaviour’ page.

If your child is in danger of immediate harm or their life may be at risk, call 999 or visit A&E

Self-harm can occur for a number of different reasons in children with additional support needs, particularly if they have autism or a learning disability. For some children/teens it is a way of communicating an unspoken emotional need, but for others, it may be a sensory issue or even a behaviour they copy from seeing self-harm on social media.

For good ways of thinking about the underlying cause, see this article from the National Autistic Society.

Action for Children also has a good article here about how to help.

A lack of restful sleep can be one of the biggest causes of upset and conflict within a family. If you are a parent/carer, it is really important to find ways to care for yourself and ensure you have enough rest. Sleep deprivation makes us irritable, depressed, impatient and inefficient, and turns bedtime into a battle.

Getting your child into good bedtime habits is increasingly difficult in the modern world, with so many distractions that make staying up late so attractive and that keep children stimulated. You will need calmness and persistence to succeed – not easy to come by when you are exhausted yourself!

Some good general advice about bedtime routines can be found on Sleep Scotland’s website. If you have consistently tried the strategies described for 6 weeks and there is no improvement, Sleep Scotland have sleep advisors – you can email them and they will arrange to call you back: sleepsupport@sleepscotland.org

If you are also sleeping badly yourself, there is an excellent online resource called Sleepio which guides you through sleep training which is personalised specifically for your needs. It does take a bit of effort, with a daily diary to complete, but it does work for the majority of people. NHS-approved, and free.

Children with ADHD tend to need less sleep, as the parts of the brain that regulate attention also regulate the need to sleep. However, some children who don’t sleep enough become hyper-active instead of slowing down in the way an adult would. So over-tired children can seem as if they have ADHD. This article explains more.

If your child is later than others to be toilet trained there is help available. After the age of 3, speak to your health visitor about whether you can access help with additional/larger nappies.

Some supermarkets such as Tesco also stock larger sizes. Your GP can also advise about any probelms you are experiencing.

When your child starts school, the school nurse will be able to advise you on whether free nappies are available. Contact SchoolNursingWLothian@nhslothian.scot.nhs.uk or 01506 652824. Tell them your child’s name, date of birth, and which school your child attends.

The best source of information and support for toilet training is ERIC (eric.org.uk/potty-training/children-additional-needs), which has specific pages on toilet training for children with additional needs. They can also advise on children who are older and still wet the bed or have other difficulties.